Baptism by Fire

It shall be done.

Whether i am strong enough
or brave enough~
whether i shear off the curls of my hair,
whether i dress in voluminous gowns of silk
or as a boy,

it shall be done.

And i have made peace with it.

They would have me at their mercy, bowing before them
like a shivering leaf, fluttering at every breath of wind,
exhaling my fear with each twitch of weakening branch~

but that, i shall not be.

For i have held council with angels and kissed the feet of Christ,
i’ve had my armor pounded smooth with the tears of virgin spirits~
so shall i be anything less to them,
those who have spoken in hushed, beauteous voice
come calling to the ears of a child~

i shall not fear it.

When those human men, in all their cruel devices
should break me down, should take this mortal body,
reducing it to the ashy char, returning it to the earth,
when only the cool forgiving waters of the Seine would quench me~
i know,
in my brave, fearless soul
that i shall be returned to thee.

i shall not fear it.

With each accusation, with each tightening length of rope,
with each layered twig
i will think only of you, beloved~
be i heretic
be i witch
or be i all those things that God has willed before me~
simple maiden, raging soldier,
servant of France
child of God.

As you, thousands of years before had passed,
eyes filling with the blood your crown had lent you~
selflessly, my one… my love,
you went to the wood and so will i~
in spite of plagues and wars, in spite of babies who leave this earth
wailing  into the darkness before they have even chanced to live~
so go i.

No trial or exalted sentence…
no manipulation of public order or defiance of church,
not even mankind or the recklessness of fate
can keep me from it.

So come now, men and soldiers
priests and kings alike….

i shall not resist it.

It is what i was born for.

It is who i was meant to be.

Come…

and baptize me with fire~